I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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