She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
