So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize