its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
4 words: hood of his car
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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