Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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