It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
