Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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