i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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