i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Ladies don't puke and tell
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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