Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize