He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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