No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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