the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She's the barista slut.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
