I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Let's paint friendship bongs
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
