Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
