I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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