Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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