Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
