Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
sex in a hospital.. check
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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