Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
