why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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