my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..