my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
