is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
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dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.