a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
