In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
