He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
