I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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