I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
