If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
