They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
