Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize