my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize