I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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