I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
