My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Randomize
