Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
