Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
