Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize