Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
