that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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