I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
