Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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