hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize