Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When are your genitals available?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
