she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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