the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
