This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
