Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
