If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
