I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
