Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
