a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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