you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize