Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
