? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
