Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
