Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
