I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
