the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
