yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
