Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
