i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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