let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
