sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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