I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
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Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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